|A brother is concerned about his sister, who just starts working after her college life in a different town, away from home town.
She is concerned about acceptance of her in the new working environment. She also has difficult to blend with new colleagues. She has no familiar friends in this new town she works. She misses her old college friends and her family, who she has good bond and attachment.
Although in this internet age communication is made easy by email, Face-book, chat-room, hand-phone, Skype, she feels that most of her old friends in different locations are not as friendly and do not pay much attention to her.
She feels rather lonely and miserable.
The brother is concerned about the sister and ask me (EP coach) for some advice. He gave his sister’s particulars for Number Psychology analysis.
The analysis shows the following clues。 Clues are not facts, but need to be validated。Number Psychology is a tool-set primarily used to understand the underlying psychology at play. Clues in term of challenges or stages of personal developmental growth are as followed:
- Balancing relationship, e.g. whether over reliance / dependence on others
- Self confidence
- Perfection inclined, difficulty to accept reality
- Tendency to avoid feelings / emotions
In the case of an actual EP coaching, the above are just reference data to be validated, by listening attentively to the coachee’s presentation of her case, paying attention to her body language, especially that indicates some underlying emotions or body sensation.
EP coach will pay particular attention to any un-expressed or suppressed emotions, the underlying limiting beliefs of the client.
Depending on how the client responses at each step, the EP coach will tune in with the client, to help her to express core issues which often are deeply buried.
In the case of the brother, who is concerned about the sister, and he is not a trained EP coach, what could he do?
I offer the following suggestions. Whenever there is opportunity in having conversation with the sister, the brother can refer to the following points
- Listen attentively, give her all the time and space to allow her to express as much, without interruption or intervention even she expresses negative thoughts like “I am worthless” “People are not kind” etc.
- At the appropriate moment, invite her to express her feelings / emotions over the issues she brings forward. And get her to observe the feeling and body sensations.
- Make inquiry about her beliefs on relationship, e.g. definition, expectation etc.
- Help her to recognize the distinctions between realistic goals vs ideals.
- Check with her the clarity of her life-goal, purpose in life, and what little action needed to achieve the goal, day by day.
- Accept whatever she presents, as you are simply just a Listener, and a Helper to help her to expand her horizon to make her own choices and decision to move forward with her own life.
I hope the above can help the concerned brother.
The concerned brother can well be a colleague, supervisor, manager or HR personnel who also want to help the staff who cannot perform well in the assigned job due to personal problems.
In fact there are many other performance and behavioral challenges in the organization, not only affecting the individual but also the organizational performance.
It is unwise to separate personal issue from organizational, as they are so inter-related. By continuing to make such demarcation, the staff concerned continues to suppress ‘personal issues”, which can eventually result in withdrawal, depression or sickness, and that can have serious negative impact in the overall company business performance also.
In the above case, what maybe apparent to the organization is that the staff concerned appears withdrawn, not enthusiastic in her work, not having good inter-personal relationship with colleagues, not motivated and not taking any leadership initiative.
Typical organizational response is to send these type of staff to Motivation, Leadership, Teambuilding programs.
Isn’t it obvious that real underlying emotional and psychological issues cannot get addressed by such programs?
More and more organizations realize the need to seek the right learning intervention. They can consider trying EP Coaching skills mastery, to unleash organizational potentials.
Andrew – EP coach
Enquiry from a reader ......
I have once queried HR about their decision for sending staff out venturing abroad in partner countries as Turkmenistan, Iraq, Venezuela etc.
My query was prior to their decision to prepare a package for staff, did they ever did an emotional and psychoanalysis study on the living condition and how long should one personnel stay in the country with the infrastructures available.
I never get my answer, and assuming the silent was for no.
Based on your experience, should a company perform this kind of study or analysis prior to sending out their stormtroopers?
Thank you for your query,
>Based on your experience, should a company perform this kind of study or analysis prior to sending out their stormtroopers?
In my opinions, it is not a straight forward case of company performs such analysis before sending staff abroad, due to the nature of human complexity, e.g. ..
a) there is limitation of such psychological analysis, like staff concerned may not feel the culture shock until being 'planted' in the foreign country,
b) If the analysis does show staff's emotional instability, should the staff be prevented from experiencing a potential and promising career development in a new country, or should not the company acquire EP Coaching or the like to help the staff to acquire more matured EQ, thereby further develop his or her potentials in the new undertaking?
c) Should not corporation invest wisely in EP coaching or the like, so that all staff (Not just the stormtroopers) benefit in emotional stability (EQ), to be ready anytime to be sent overseas and also unleashing their potentials to perform their best in all undertakings, collectively contribute positively to the business performance?
Due to lack of organization investment in enhancing EQ of staff, using EP coaching or the like (except in theoretical training), often staff sent overseas suffer silently and internally, obviously he or she cannot perform their best, until reaching high severity and forced to be sent home, and treated as a 'sick case'.
It is sad and tragic that corporation does not know how to demonstrate compassion to staff.
You may like to speak with confidence to your management to seriously consider EP coaching or the like (no more training on theories and principles), but actually engaging people one to one.
Wish you all the best.
Andrew - EP Coach