By Andrew Wong      August 7, 2012 中文版
Number Psychology and Energy Psychology  Articles Series

True Self And Relationship

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)

SF (Solution Focus)

EP (Energy  Psychology)

NP(Number Psychology)





[True Self and Relationship] can be a useful model to describe some of my hundreds of EP coaching cases.

Client presenting problems can be depression, insomnia, drug addiction, sickness, performance problem, relationship problems ...which are mere manifestations of various symptoms. The underlying issues, to a large extend can be related to conflict between [True Self and Relationship].

The early conflict between True Self and Relationship usually stems from childhood, whereby the current suffering client's childhood was under stress due to interacting relationship with parents. The parents can be uncaring, abusive, ..resulting in the child becoming a victim. A victim identity is certainly not a True Self identity, without self-esteem, self pride, but blaming self as useless and worthless.

It can be a case of over-caring parents, making the child overly dependent on the parental love to survive. This is dependency-relationship, not True Self with self confidence, self leadership.

This childhood imprints still stay on vividly in the minds of the suffering clients, usually subconsciously, driving them into current state of pain and suffering.

In adulthood, new relationships get established: courtship, marriage, partnership, friendship ...Again, most people are not aware of the importance of True Self, and the delicate balance between True Self and the new relationship or identity, and these get them into trouble.

A large part of the subconscious blurring of True Self in the midst of the established relationship comes from societal expectation and morality of roles.

We use an extreme case for discussion.

A wife is under the drunk and gambling husband's abusive behavior (physical and verbal) for a long time. the children suffer badly also. The wife over identifies her role as a good wife, to tolerate such abuse, and she also over identifies her role as a good mother, sacrifices for the children and insists the children must forgive the abusive father, to demonstrate good morality virtues.

Such limiting beliefs and behavior of the mother is further reinforced by the societal, morality and religious rules.

By doing so, both the wife and children are suppressing their True Selves, their suffering feelings and emotions. True self is a wholesome human being, to be treated with respect. which is not the case.

However, most people do not experience such extreme situation. This makes it more difficult for them to be aware of the delicate balance between True Self and Relationship. There may not be severe pain and suffering, but feeling unhappy and dis-satisfied, robotically live their life in the name of the said relationship.

Often, we hear wife complains the husband pays more respect to a stranger female, and not her, being his wife. (or the other way round, husband complains about wife friendly and talk more with stranger-male).

This can be an interesting case to analyze using [True Self and Relationship] model.

The stranger female is presenting part of her True self, a human being, a woman. As such the husband 'respects' the role, i.e. a human being, a woman and carries out polite and respectful conversation.

In the case of the wife, she has 'forgotten' her True Self as a human being, a woman, as she over identifies herself with the role as a wife, thus with inherent expectation of herself and husband.

Supposing the wife is conscious of her True Self and acts as such, i.e. I am first and foremost, a Being, a Woman, and get the message across to the partner, respect her as a Being, a Woman, then the wife becomes the stranger female, whereby the husband likely will respond with respect.

In contract, the wife may behave on either extremes, being submissive as an obedient wife, or aggressive to demand the husband be submissive or love her (in her expectation), as she is his wife. Then a lot of problems emerge, all in the name of husband and wife relationship, not True Selves.

I do not imply that all relationship problems are caused by my client who over identifies with the relationship role play, as the other partner could have his or her own complexes, psychological issues that need resolution.

But I do emphase to my clients the importance of the hierarchy of self identification with a) A wholesome Being, b) A Woman or A man c) Relationship (husband / wife, parents / children, In-laws, Siblings, partners ...) in that order of importance.

In summary, be in touch with your True Self, which also implies your own purpose or mission in life, as an Individual.

Organizational Learning

[True Self] identity is almost totally non-existent in organization. "Who are you?", the answer is "I am the Manager, or I am the Engineer, or I am a clerk".

The identity as a boss, professional, doctor, or mechanic hardly a [True Self].

While the role in a relationship like 'husband and wife' is largely governed by societal expectation and morality values, the positions like supervisor and staff in an organization is constantly reinforced by organizational structure, hierarchy, job description, and above all, power, authority and monetary reward.

Are we not living a life with multiple personalities?

On one hand, there is the need to maintain order and stability to make sure organizational members stay in line with respect to their positional roles, there is a constant drive to remind and train people to be pro-active, practice the organizational values of Integrity, Honesty, think outside the box.

And Organization continues to engage consultant to strengthen organization structures and systems, the management also continues to invest large amount of money and resources in training people in Leadership, Integrity, Motivation, unleashing potentials,..supposedly the intrinsic values of a wholesome Being.

A contradiction that organization is not aware of.

With such conflicting messages, and suppressing of [True Self], little wonder most people experience stress in organization and not joy, let alone peace.

And at home, he or she is conditioned to play the role as a husband, wife, son, daughter, ..a false identity that is never the [True Self].

[True Self] calls for the questions "What is my life purpose? what is my inner calling?"

While EP coaching, helps the client to resolve whatever the presenting issues, but also helps the client to understand his or her personality and psychological make up, and last but not least, his or her mission in life.

Andrew - EP Coach

EP Coach, Andrew

Introducing EP Coaching to Corporation

Energy Psychology Coaching Service for Corporation (6-8 months follow up services)

A new service is launched - "NP-Your Potentialities Report Writing Service"

Number Psychology training for the public  refer : “Number Psychology” (English), "數字心理學" (Chinese), with Participants feedback (English), 学员学习心得 (Chinese)

Energy Psychology training for the public  refer : “Energy Psychology (English), "能量心理學" (Chinese), with Cases  (English), 处理过的案例 (Chinese)

Or, your are welcome to communicate with your HR Director / manager to bring this training to your organization / corporation.

Numerology (Number Psychology, helps to get more information for effective coaching like the above. Unlike many profiling tools used by corporation / companies (more expensive too), it is a much simpler and effective tool, with revelation of more hidden messages.

Energy Psychology helps to balance the negative energies.


This coach is most grateful to the hundreds of clients (public and corporate) who provide greater learning for the coach in the coaching sessions, thus gaining more experience and insights on what and how coaching works. As a result, this coach is more ready to provide services to the public and corporation more effectively.

While the public continues to benefit from the one-to-one coaching carried out (refer Energy Psychology Coaching Service, and [Money Clinic] Coaching Service) , the corporation and organization can benefit from customized training on Mindset Emotion and Energy Psychology Training to develop internal skills as masterful coaches. (refer Specially for Organization / Corporation). Currently a long term contract is ongoing with a corporation on one to one coaching to the management, and developing them to be masterful internal coaches, thus creating a coaching culture.

Articles Related to Number Psychology and Energy Psychology application

  Introducing EP Coaching to Corporation In Search of Correct Human Behavior and Mindsets in Organization  
  What are missing in Organizational Learning? Safety Disasters and Organizational Learning  
  Bill Gates and his Potentialities / 中文版 Sony Vs Samsung  
  Vision Energies [6] / 中文版 Expression Energy [3] / 中文版  
  Assault at KFC Outlet / 中文版 Projection of Fear  
  Distant Money and Loving Wife / 中文版 Un-acceptance in Relationship / 中文版  
  Surgeon, Stress and Peace
Deeply Buried Fears  
  “Sacrificing for others” – A virtue or Psychological Problem? Excessive Obligation and Gratitude  
  How to apply EP conversation at Work? / 中文版 Analysis of different Coaching Approaches / 中文版  
  A New Theory To Share / 中文版 The Body Never Lies / 中文版  
  To Quit the Job or Not? Unbalanced Potentials Manifestation  
  Enjoy Sorrow and Pain / 中文版
Nine Different Definition of Love / 中文版
  Brother’s Concern of Sister and OL / 中文版 Suicide - Individual and Organization  
  The Diamond Cutter and Energy Psychology Developing Children and Developing Organizational Members  
  Feedback from a N-report Client A Good Child is Good News?  
  Care and Protection Bury Potentials / 中文版 A "Positive" Manager / 中文版  
  Story of a Soul / 中文版 12 Coaching Cases in One day / 中文版  
  Overly Concern creates Negative Energy / 中文版 Introducing NP/EP Coaching to Political Organization / 中文版  
  Group Coaching using NP and EP Not Knowing One is Lost  
  “I must be strong!” (Positive Thinking Backfires) I will Take the Whole World  
Tomorrow Never Comes  中文版 Unhappiness Due to Non-alignment with Inner Calling
  Balancing Ambitions / Childhood Imprint  中文版 Problems are Learning Opportunity In Disguise  
  Balancing Perfectionism     中文版 When Solutions are the Problems  中文版  
  Unconscious Self-sabotaging Pattern Limiting Belief - the Danger, yet Unknown  
  Some Concepts on Energy Psychology Coaching An Angry Mother and A Corporation  
  Energy Psychology and Personality When New Zealand is beautiful, what can be not so beautiful?  
  The Language of Energy Number Psychology Vs Fortune Telling
  From Linkedin Group Discussion to Organizational Learning EP Coaching and Organizational Learning  
  Lovely little girl True Self And Relationship  
  In Search of Lost Emotion (Political Emotion too) 中文版    
Training and Coaching Services to Corporation / Public  
  Introducing EP Coaching to Corporation  
  Energy Psychology Coaching Service for Corporation (6-8 months follow up services)  
  Number Psychology Training (1-day)  
  Energy Psychology Training (1-day)  
  Unleashing Organizational Potentials (2-days)  
  Energy Psychology Coaching Service (one on one)    
  [Money Clinic] Coaching Service (one on one)
Number Psychology Report Writing Service

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