By Andrew Wong      Oct 22, 2012 中文版
Number Psychology and Energy Psychology  Articles Series

“Sacrificing for others” – A virtue or Psychological Problem?

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)

SF (Solution Focus)

EP (Energy  Psychology)

NP(Number Psychology)

 

 

   

         
 

Reference is made to my hundreds of EP coaching cases for this discussion on ““Sacrificing for others” – A virtue or Psychological Problem?”

On the on-set, most people will consider “Sacrificing for others” as a virtue, to be admired or modeled after. They consider this as a selfless act, a heroic act, an ‘enlightened behavior’!

But this can be a mis-guided perception and belief system.

Examples on “Sacrificing for others” can be

- Parents sacrificing for the children
- Adult children sacrifice their overseas career or business for the sake of the aged parents
- Husband or wife sacrificing for the spouse
- In friendship, sacrificing for the sake of a good friend
- Sacrificing for employer or staff ..
- Etc.

Implications in “Sacrificing for others” are:

- Suppression of one’s needs for the sake of others
- Sacrifice with hardship with the hope / expectation of better return or gratitude from those the sacrifice is made

The premise of such implications is already on the wrong track, psychologically speaking.

In the case of suppression of one’s own needs, there can be accumulation of negative emotions like not feeling happy, not feeling joyful, doing something against one’s own wishes or preference. Over time, surely such constant state of unhappiness, or forced obligations will make the person depressed, or lower their health immune system and develop into sickness.

In the case of sacrifice with hardship with the hope / expectation of better return or gratitude from those the sacrifice is made, many tragic life dramas, like madness or suicides, can occur when the other party does not show gratitude, or whose ‘negative’ behavior is contradictory to the person’s preferred outcome.

It is an illusion that ‘sacrificing oneself’ is a demonstration of love, i.e. equate sacrifice with love.

It goes against the principle of Self-love, suppressing one’s needs and hurting oneself, and not able to love oneself. A suicidal person does not know how to love his or her own live, thus hurts himself or herself. There is nothing noble about such act, certainly it is not a virtue not knowing how to love oneself.

How can denying one’s own needs in the name of ‘sacrificing oneself’ be a noble act.

It goes against the principle of un-conditional love, as hope for good return or expectation is with string attached. Such conditional act, so called sacrificing love, can put enormous pressure and guilt feelings on the part of the recipients who seem to benefit from the sacrifices made by the person(s) who profess ‘such love’. This in turn can create another set of psychological problem, e.g. living in guilt, to the recipient-parties.

What a negative virtuous circle get created by treating ‘sacrificing for others’ as an act of virtue.

There are cases whereby ‘sacrificing for others” become an excuse for lacking will power to pursue one’s own goals in life, or simply do not know what they want in life.

We need a shift in paradigm, not ‘sacrifice for others’ but either a) find a more creative win win situations to do something to satisfy all parties concerned, and / or b) really find joy and happiness in the very things that need to be done, and not consider as hardship, without conditions attached, truly demonstrating unconditional love.

Andrew – EP Coach

EP Coach, Andrew

Introducing EP Coaching to Corporation


Energy Psychology Coaching Service for Corporation (6-8 months follow up services)

A new service is launched - "NP-Your Potentialities Report Writing Service"

Number Psychology training for the public  refer : “Number Psychology” (English), "數字心理學" (Chinese), with Participants feedback (English), 学员学习心得 (Chinese)

Energy Psychology training for the public  refer : “Energy Psychology (English), "能量心理學" (Chinese), with Cases  (English), 处理过的案例 (Chinese)

Or, your are welcome to communicate with your HR Director / manager to bring this training to your organization / corporation.

Numerology (Number Psychology, helps to get more information for effective coaching like the above. Unlike many profiling tools used by corporation / companies (more expensive too), it is a much simpler and effective tool, with revelation of more hidden messages.

Energy Psychology helps to balance the negative energies.

End.

This coach is most grateful to the hundreds of clients (public and corporate) who provide greater learning for the coach in the coaching sessions, thus gaining more experience and insights on what and how coaching works. As a result, this coach is more ready to provide services to the public and corporation more effectively.

While the public continues to benefit from the one-to-one coaching carried out (refer Energy Psychology Coaching Service, and [Money Clinic] Coaching Service) , the corporation and organization can benefit from customized training on Mindset Emotion and Energy Psychology Training to develop internal skills as masterful coaches. (refer Specially for Organization / Corporation). Currently a long term contract is ongoing with a corporation on one to one coaching to the management, and developing them to be masterful internal coaches, thus creating a coaching culture.

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  Energy Psychology Coaching Service for Corporation (6-8 months follow up services)  
  Number Psychology Training (1-day)  
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  Unleashing Organizational Potentials (2-days)  
  Energy Psychology Coaching Service (one on one)    
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