【Energy Psychology】 EP Coaching can be interesting and puzzling.
When I conducted training to a corporation’s management team on how to use EP Coaching to unleash staff potentials, a learner asked : “Sir, I observed when you carried out an EP Coaching demo, even though the coachee suffered a lot of pressure and stress, felt frustrated, depressed for more than half a year, it seems that you approach it with curiosity, asking for details on how he can achieve such results of depression, what advantages, as if he is ‘enjoying’ the sorrow and pain!”
Yes, EP coaching is conducted with openness, sense of curiosity and exploration, non-judgmental (as there is no need to further increase the guilt and helplessness feelings), so as to encourage the client to fully express, irrespective whether client’s behavior is extremely negative, stubborn, not doing him good.
Why approach with such coaching questions? What are the theories behind?
A person continues to perform as long as he likes, enjoys or perceives the action and behavior can bring him or her benefits, otherwise, he or she will do something else.
For example, if he likes music, he will often listen to music. If he enjoys his proud sense of accomplishment, say, to make money, he will continue to do business.
Similarly, in the case of the coachee, he must have his good reasons, to 'like or enjoy' the sorrow and pain, and continue to be in the state of sorrow and pain.
When the EP coach listens to his story with full presence, the coachee may see more clearly his own thinking, limiting beliefs, which are often subconscious in nature, controlling him.
In the coaching process, he may discover the underlying reasons that make him ‘enjoy’ or perceived as advantages of such “sorrow and pain” behaviors.
The followings reflect certain situations of the clients:
- "By behaving this way, I can get people sympathy. I need sympathy so much."
- "The sweet experience of the first love, and the sorrow of separation. This current pain triggers the old memory, and reminds me of the momentary sweet Love, which I enjoy and I do not want to let go of that fond memory.”
- "Life is suffering, we must suffer first before we can experience success.”
- "A vengeful strategy, so that the person I hate can feel guilty and miserable.”
- "Would rather experience the sorrow and pain and not willing to face the Core Fear felt internally"
- “The Inner Child continues to live in me, the Inner Child with all the hurt and trauma experienced. I cannot let go of that Inner Child.”
- "Today sorrow and pain remind me of the painful childhood memory, the little child forever looks forward to love and care, but never happened. It becomes a habit in me now – still waiting for the love and care."
- "Feel more secure in today’s sorrow and pain than facing the cruel reality in front of me.”
- And so on. . . . .
When the client understands better his limiting beliefs, and with negative emotional energy balanced, he has more choices in life to really ‘enjoy’ and benefits from better outcome of new behaviors.
Andrew – EP Coach