From the many coaching cases I have conducted, the following is one set of scenarios.
The wife is feeling very angry and frustrated with the husband overly control of her life. They quarrel frequently. The wife is accusing the husband restricting her freedom, not respecting her rights, imposed his views on her. She feels suffocating.
In the end the wife divorced from the husband. She feels relief. And she claims she can then sleep more soundly at night, before often having insomnia problems.
As she described her case in the Facebook using general concepts like Freedom, Restriction, Control, etc. which are commonly felt by most people, she gains a lot of support from her Facebook friends.
But what are the actual situations?
We will discuss three scenarios.
Scenario #1
The husband forbids her to communicate with her parents, siblings, relatives, classmates and friends.
This is obviously too extreme a case. Everyone will sure sympathize with the wife and congratulate her for divorce which gives her the freedom.
Scenario #2
The wife is addicted to gambling and lost a lot her husband’s hard-earned money. The husband was mad with her and control every penny she spends.
Scenario #3
The wife cannot help but to gossip a lot, busy body and get involves in other people lives, bring up controversial topics for discussion in the social media and she particularly like to engage with males for all sorts of conversation, in Facebook groups and privately one to one, resulting in male-female relationship complication.
Her household is in a mess, she does not attend to the daily routines in cooking for the children, nor helping the children in their school homework.
The husband was angry and restricted her use of handphone to social media.
These are all cases of freedom issues, restriction, and control. Obviously when people know the actual situations, many will not sympathize with the wife in scenarios #2 and #3.
Hence it is important to understand the actual situations instead of taken in by broad issues of Freedom, Control and Restriction.
We will discuss Scenario #3 in more details in line with the title of this article.
How Personality affects Mindset and Health?
The wife has personalities of Type 5 Freedom and Type 3 Expression.
She is controlled by such personality-energies with the above described behaviours.
It is such personalities that affect her mindsets, and she insisted that it is the husband who spoils her life, not given her the freedom she wants.
As observers, we can see that she has problem to balance her life, i.e. attending to more orderly household, taking good care of children meals and homework, and then she can have her circles of friends having engaging tea conversation, and know her boundaries in communicating with males.
Such balancing requires personalities of Type 4 – Stability and down to earth grounding or home-base.
We all have imbalanced personalities. And it is a great challenge to balance different types of personalities.
How such imbalanced personalities affect health?
We know that personalities affect behaviours, agitated behaviour causes uneven breathing which over time affect health etc.
We will refer to the holistic and integrative theories of the ancient wisdom for more details and specific.
Type 5 Freedom personality belongs to Kidneys functionalities. Type 3 Expression personality belongs to Liver functionalities.
Excessive use of Type 5 Freedom and Type 3 Expression cause imbalance to the Kidneys and Liver Qi.
Kidneys functionalities include excretion system, reproductive system, soundness of bones, hearing, hair growth etc. Kidneys hold consciousness in will power and emotions like fear.
For example, excessive Freedom without restraints may cause reproductive problem, excessive sexual performance or lack of interest in sex.
Liver functionalities include blood detox, distribution of blood to all parts of the body. Liver holds consciousness in creativity and emotions like anger.
For example, excessive use of expression, e,g, non-stop talking or gossiping may cause high blood pressure or menstrual problems for ladies.
Ancient wisdom offers a Balancing and Reinforcing Model called 5-Element-Model, represented by Earth, Water, Wood, Metal and Fire, which are respectively associated with Spleen, Kidneys, Livers, Lungs and Heart.
Type 5 Freedom personality belongs to Water-Kidneys-Functionalities.
As per 5-Element theory, Earth Controls Water, i.e. Spleen controls kidneys.
Earth-Spleen holds the consciousness of Thinking and Intention. Hence it is the good systematic and logical thinking with clear intention that can help balance the Type 5 excessive Freedom personalities.
Type 3 Expression personality belongs to Wood-Liver- Functionalities.
As per 5-Element theory, Metal Controls Wood, i.e. Lungs controls Liver.
One of the Lungs functionalities is Qi descending.
And Qi descending function can help to control Type 3 excessive talking personalities.
From the above, the wife in scenario #3 needs the following to balance her personalities i.e. she needs more discipline, constraints, logical and systematic thinking. But the problem is whoever imposes restriction or constraints on her, she get mad and fights back.
If you are further interested in knowing the relationship between behaviours, personality and health, you are welcome to the following video courses.
A Single Window to Personality, Emotion, Physiology
5-Element Theory : Build Relationship of parts for Holism
（建立部分关系创造整体体系）
